> ## Content Index > Fetch the complete content index at: https://emilymorter.com/llms.txt > Use this file to discover other available public pages before exploring further. # Responding to what is - URL: https://emilymorter.com/responding-to-what-is/ - Published: 2020-10-17T07:02:00.000Z - Updated: 2026-08-17T04:47:00.000Z - Description: return to work (from home), reweaving, regulating, remembering - Author: Emily Morter - Tags: Writing Thanks to all who reached out after my last letter. Transitions can be hard and I was really stuck last month accepting my reality and finding the next step. October has brought some clarity for me. I've been able to respond to your gentle requests to return to work by navigating all the regulations, safety requirements and my personal concerns. I now have my next steps in the form of a COVIDSafe plan and practical tasks to rebuild my confidence and strength. After such a loooong period of isolation at home, I am monitoring my energy levels and spacing bookings carefully. If you would like an appointment, please call, text or email me directly. It's important to me that I work from a place of abundance and share the best of myself, so I may appear slower and take lots of pauses. Thank you for your patience and trust. We will all be healing together in the coming months. ![](https://storage.ghost.io/c/5d/ec/5dece2dd-1b31-4e64-87f1-1d453618bd9f/content/images/2026/08/968da444-fb51-4a0e-8ee9-1ba42b8ade06_3072x4096-jpeg.jpg) Work from home space, Oct 2020 ### Reweaving I think a big part of healing together is understanding that we *all* need more support. Our current society doesn't value the basic needs of people or the planet. As I've articulated in past letters, I want to live in a world that works for all, where our choices and actions are life affirming, respectful and caring. And I'm realising that unlearning generations of harshness, domination and punishment is really hard. We are such social creatures and we learn from what we see modelled around us. Role models for living with compassion, understanding and loving kindness are precious and rare. I'm relearning from Miki Kashtan's book **Reweaving Our Human Fabric** and practising in the way I speak to myself and others. She describes how we have lost our indigenous sense of interconnectedness and even the language to talk about our basic human needs. The English language is full of judgements and self centred criticism, often hidden as feelings. So following the guide of Nonviolent Communication ([NVC](https://nvcaustralia.com/?ref=emilymorter.com)), I am trying to be less judgemental and more observational in what I think and say. Instead of *"You make me so angry"* I'm trying "*I feel frustrated when you X because I need Y right now"*. Or instead of *"You are so selfish"* I might say *"You are taking care of your needs but not the needs of others around you. Would you be willing to X?"* It's clunky and takes a lot of practice, but I'm learning! And importantly, modelling a different way to everyone around me. ![](https://storage.ghost.io/c/5d/ec/5dece2dd-1b31-4e64-87f1-1d453618bd9f/content/images/2026/08/68018421-662e-4105-9c8f-68eb8dde9bd1_4608x3456-jpeg-1.jpg) ### Regulating When I think about social change and modelling new ways of being I come back to [Stephen Porges' Polyvagal Theory.](https://www.stephenporges.com/?ref=emilymorter.com) It expands on our basic knowledge of the autonomic nervous system - the part of us that reacts to stress and then recovers. You may already know this system as two branches: *fight/flight* and *rest/digest.* Polyvagal theory describes a third branch for social engagement, that has evolved in humans relatively recently. You can see the branches in the image below. Green is social engagement, yellow is *fight/flight* and red is *rest/digest* (and also *freeze*). ![](https://storage.ghost.io/c/5d/ec/5dece2dd-1b31-4e64-87f1-1d453618bd9f/content/images/2026/08/6a5590a4-f441-4876-8bf0-cf3d500bd769_231x709.png) Image from [https://equusoma.com/freesources/](https://equusoma.com/freesources/?ref=emilymorter.com) The green branch is called the ventral vagus nerve. It connects your face and head to the heart and lungs and is usually the first response you have in any situation. This face-heart connection links facial expressions, tone of voice and language to regulation of heart rate and breathing. When you are feeling safe you react with *friendship* behavioursie. smiling, laughter, eye contact, moving towards others*.* If you begin to sense danger you react with *fawning* ie. seeking powerful people, mirroring their expressions and mimicking their language and movements. Do you see how we are wired to mirror behaviours and co-regulate with others? And how closely linked our heart and breath are to our words and voice and facial expressions? I feel this is especially relevant today as we interact with each other wearing masks, or as virtual faces on screens. How can you support and regulate this branch of your nervous system more consciously? Eye gazing, smiling with your whole face, hand on heart, breathing deeply, synchronising your breathing with others, putting your whole loving expression into your voice, consciously choosing nonviolent language and kind words, humming or singing to yourself if you're feeling heightened emotions or stress... I'm sure you have wonderfully adaptive ways too. Let me know how you've been regulating your breath and social nervous system during the pandemic. ![](https://storage.ghost.io/c/5d/ec/5dece2dd-1b31-4e64-87f1-1d453618bd9f/content/images/2026/08/432a19ec-64d6-4436-b83e-228fbb636b73_3760x2820-jpeg.jpg) How humans fit in the scale of Earth time, by Astrid, Oct 2020 ### Remembering A poem by John Trudell from "Living in Reality" 1982 \~ One time I was visiting with my relatives the clouds, the mountains, the sky, the trees My relatives touched my spirit nudged it lovingly Listen to us impatient one We are forever You must remember the gentleness of time You are struggling to be who you are You say you want to learn the old ways Struggling to learn when all you must do is remember Remember the people Remember sky and Earth Remember the people have always struggled to live in harmony in peace Struggle against selfishness and weakness so the people may live as nations The old ways are hard The people have always had to work together Remember impatient one Remember and live Do not be afraid of truth respect discipline Share your life so the people may live Honor sky and Earth Honor yourself Honor your relations Remember impatient one the gentleness of time so the people may live \~ Sending you much love and kindness. Please reach out if you need, Emily