Midwinter feelings

Jun 2023

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Here in Melbourne it is winter solstice. This year the longest night falls on 22 June at 12:58am. We are in the deep dark depths of the seasonal cycle, a time that calls for hibernation and dormancy. For drawing inwards, perhaps reflecting, reviewing and remembering the past year. What grew and was fruitful in my life? What needed pruning or composting?

Take your time. There is no rush. Not knowing what is next or what to do is a good place to start. There will be time to set intentions and plan for the future soon. Now is time to rest in the cocoon of the unknown.

I was reflecting on why I care so much about the seasons… it gives me a sense of grounded confidence to have an awareness of my feelings, sensations and habits throughout the year. The seasonal shifts are like a guide for my energy. When I realign my habits and actions with the seasons, I’m literally aligning with the tilt of the Earth.

It is traditional, ancient wisdom to observe the return of the light at solstice. It’s one of the reasons places like Stonehenge were built. They align with the angle of the sunrise at solstice so the light shines through, illuminating portals. I like to watch the sunrise at this time of year and appreciate that the light always comes after the dark. It feels good to notice the days gradually getting longer from here too.

Midday sunlight in winter, photo by me, June 2023

I’ve been learning more about sunlight and circadian rhythms - the light at sunrise actually helps our melatonin production, so gazing at the early morning sky (outside if possible so it is not filtered through glass) may be more effective than a bedtime routine at helping you sleep well. There is also an effect on serotonin and leptin, which simply put, help to regulate your mood and appetite.

To support your circadian rhythm it’s also important to minimise blue light from screens/bright lights in the evening. But this is a huge habit to change for most of us! You know I like small and simple adjustments, so perhaps start with looking for the sunrise if you can. It is around 7:30am at this time of year, so not especially early to try a new habit.

I’ve been busy supporting several mamas lately; through the final months of pregnancy and the transition after birth. I was with one family on and off for three days during their labour at the end of May. The mama had such courage throughout the physical work, mixed feelings and tough decisions of birthing her baby.

And I often lose my confidence after these big births.

I consider so many factors during this time - alignment of the baby in the pelvis, tension and relaxation of ligaments and muscles, breathing capacity, postural habits, old injuries, emotional tension and holding patterns. And I’m always faced with the fact that so much is unknown. And there is wisdom in the not knowing.

Being present with birth humbles me. It reminds me to take responsibility for the work and skills I provide as a health practitioner, and also, to recognise I am not in control. The energy of helping is often tied with controlling the outcome. I try to stay open and curious and less focused on myself so I can walk with others in their experience. Trying my best not to push or pull them along the path, rather joining them and learning about their journey with them.

This Brené Brown quote captures the ever evolving nature of humility, “I’m here to get it right, not to be right”. And I’d also add, I’m here to get it wrong and keep trying over and over. To continue learning, not to be the expert.